Posted on December 29, 2016
I have been absent here for a while. During the last 4 or 5 months, I have felt the need to think over who I am and what I want, hence the prolonged break and lack of activity. I never thought I would ever let my camera gather dust, but the fact is, I hardly touched it during that time. I cannot clearly explain it, but I guess it`s a normal occurence in creative life, when the tool of passion and great love gets abandoned for a while, and some rusty gates of despair and sadness open, engulfing the lost soul. But luckily, it`s only temporary. The light comes back and the soul starts singing again…slowly and gently at first, but growing stronger every day.
For me, this autumnal hibernation is finishing with the winter solstice. I am waking up and hoping to find my spark again. To help myself , I am sorting through images from the summer period. I haven`t edited too many of them yet (a thing unheard of!) but I am looking at them, searching for stories and coming back to the days of sun and laughter with my daughters and nieces.
Here is one of the stories….at first, I though of posting a small set of black and white images only, as that`s what usually works for my narrative best, but then I decided the colour ones will be the main pages of the story, with the monochromes serving as additions.
So what`s this story about…? In simple words, the girls decided to have a dressing up day, with my parents` old caravan serving as their dressing room. Then little Eliza found some discarded shoes, belonging to her cousin, and decided to find out which of the three older girls would these elegant shoes suit best size-wise. So she summoned them all, one by one, and made them try out. In some cases, quite forcifully. And in some cases, the disappointment was quite visible, as was the joy when shoes found the owner. It was hilarious. And very, very touching.
Posted on May 5, 2016
So it`s another month, and another 5th of it-time for five more lensbaby pictures!
This time I`m showing my younger daughter, Eliza, who accompanies me every Wednesday when I await Nina to finish her ballet class. We hang around the venue, and now that it`s finally warm we don`t sit in the car-instead we walk and soak up the sun in the neighbouring green patches. On that particular Wednesday (yesterday!) it was very sunny, very bright, very glorious in terms of light. And so I embraced it fully with my Sweet 35, not backing away from the rays , because sometimes that`s exactly what is needed.
Posted on April 25, 2016
You are not 7 yet, we still have slightly over 3 months until that day. You have 8 adult teeth, you are tall and slender, you are wild and beautiful and so smart it sometimes frightens me. You are fragile and strong, your eyes , the colour of a mountain clear lake, tell me everything and more. I look at you and I can hardly believe you happened to me. You are the tempest, you sweep me off my feet a thousand times a day. We cry together when we fight, yet when we embrace, the sun bathes us in its warmth even on gloomiest of days.I love you so deeply it hurts sometimes.
On Saturday, we didn`t have the best of days. You were moody and grumpy, not pleasant to your sister or to me. Perhaps you felt ignored. Perhaps you were bored. You let me take a few pictures of you in our tiny, scruffy back garden, amidst the clothes drying on the line, in chilly air. Thank you for those. Thank you for the reluctant smiles and pouty faces. I want to remember that day, in years to come. I want to remember we were not exactly on best of terms on that day, but still orbiting around each other like binary stars, connected by some mightly gravitational pulls. I want to recall those teeth of yours, slightly too large yet for you tiny face, so heartmelting with the promise of upcoming adulthood. I want to remember the sight of your unruly hair, glistening in the sun.
My darling child. You gave life to me.
Posted on April 9, 2016
Have you seen this internet meme, the one about time passing when playing with your children…?It says something along the lines: “You are playing with your child for 16 hours, then you check the time and it`s been only 15 minutes”. I`m afraid too often I feel the same, but then that`s what parents have to do, entertain the little ones hoping they`ll grow fast to learn to manage their own spare time. Same about playground excursions…. Some people like it. Some don`t. Most don`t think a lot of it, but the struggle is real-you go there with your child and hope for the best, because ultimately, it`s terribly boring for a grown up person to watch a herd of little humans climb up and down the slide, or swing back and forth, in hope they won`t hurt themselves…. I`m no other, that`s why I usually take my camera with me when taking the girls to a playground. This way I stay focused and have something to look at when we`re done. Photographing children while on a playground can be and usually is fun! Even when I attempt a more serious portrait shot there, the place`s setting provides lots of interesting frames and backgrounds, so there is no way for the pictures to turn up boring . PLus, there`s usually that pure joy in their eyes-and that`s just priceless.
Posted on February 21, 2016
These photographs are 5 months old . I took them in September last year (hard to believe it`s February already!), on a very early morning one day, when the sun was low and the light in abundance. My daughters were still in their pyjamas and found some bubbles to play with in our tiny garden.
Oh, the garden….our garden is everything but beautiful. Frankly speaking, it`s quite rogue. Small, cluttered, sad and dark. There`s a tool shed crammed in a corner there, a huge wheelie bin in another, laundry lines, some sad rose bushes and a tiny bistro table with two chairs. Hardly any space left for actual people….And yet! With the right approach, even this visually challenging tiny space can become a great setting for something amazing-amazing like two little girls, playing together in early morning sun.
I grabbed my camera and decided these moments were worth recording. Because, ultimately, beauty and emotions can be found just about everywhere, anytime.
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